Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
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no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
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Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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