did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize