Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize