Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize