The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
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