I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
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