So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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