It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
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