i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
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