Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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