This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
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As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
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So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
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