WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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