honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize