hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize