He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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