Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
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