you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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