It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
She's the barista slut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
All the doctor said was why
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize