Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
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I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
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