just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
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