Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
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