mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize