kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Randomize