is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
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So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
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The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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