Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
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