Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She even gives head with a lisp.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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