sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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