i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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