I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
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