doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Everclear isn't food dammit
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize