ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize