All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
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I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
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As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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