Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
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