You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize