And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
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I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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