Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
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