she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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