Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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