Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
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For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
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Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
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