Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
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