I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
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