so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize