Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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