If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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