I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize