oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
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