Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
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