In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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