Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
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