My sheets look like a crime scene.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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